How Public Education Affected Me

It all started when I was in the second grade, where I begin noticing a change in school. I loved school so much, I enjoyed learning and so on. But, as soon as I reached the second grade, I begin hating school so much. Schooling begin to feel like there's more assignments and no fun in the education. The elementary school I attended in my  school district even consolidated the students at the school into other schools in the school district, but that didn't happen until after winter break of my 2nd grade school year. I begin disliking school even more when I transferred elementary schools. It was miserable for me to get up everyday to go to school. But anyways, in this particular article, I will discuss how public education in a impoverished area affected my learning.
So, as I said before, when I was in second grade, that's when I begin hating school so much. I was always the quiet one in school and never talked unless someone talked to me or if I was outside for recces. So, in school, the teachers always called me one of the smarter students and that I am so good. So, since I was young, I believed that I was actually one of the smarter students. But, as soon as I transferred elementary schools in 2nd grade, I begin noticing math was getting so difficult. It was as if I was torn. After that school year, the school district reopened the elementary school I went to before. I was in third grade and was reward as one of the smarter students because of me being so nice and quiet and the teachers loved that! So, I had a boost of confidence that I was one of the smarter students so I continued to stay nice and quiet. By that time, I knew damn well that in order to be one of the smart students, you had to behave well in school, so I kept that charade up. But as time moved on, I continued to realize that math was hell for me. I could never understand the work at all. Luckily, reading was never difficult like math was for me back then.
So 5th grade comes around and I continued to be one of the good students. But, during this time, I also begin hanging with the wrong crowd in elementary and begin doing bad things. I begin being the worst 5th grade student in the class with my teacher. I even talked back to my 5th grade teacher! So during that year, I lost my title of being the smarter students. At the time, I was having fun with the popular students, but at the same time, I wanted my title as one of the smartest students in fifth grade. So I tried to be one of the good students again and my efforts were futile, so I continued being bad in 5th grade. The teacher begin threatening me that I was going to fail the 5th grade because of my "behavior." Math continued being a problem for me. This endless cycle continued to go on for the rest of the year. Luckily, I happened to pass 5th grade.
When I got into middle school, it was official that math wasn't my thing and that it is always going to be a problem for me in life. My grades were bad when I begin middle school because I wasn't used to having multiple teachers, but that changed fast. I begin becoming one of the quiet, good, nice students once again and I begin excelling in middle school as I did prior to 5th grade. My worries of math was gone and stop being a bother, but they were still a problem for me. What I noticed during middle school is that a lot of behavior problems were happening and I realized that I can get through this as long as I be a good student and also turn in all my work. I was always observing and noticed how to get around stuff such as using methods of getting around obstacles instead of facing them and finishing them.
As time moved on, I went into high school and I noticed that, that behavior charade didn't work in High School. I noticed that in order to pass, I would have to turn in my work. During that time I still stayed one of the good students. But math once again started to attack me. Math begin becoming an obstacle in high school, but thankfully, I was able to pass it up.
Now, after reading my story throughout elementary, middle and high school, you may be wondering, how did public education affect me? Well, now it's about that time I spill the beans out of the can. The way that public education affected me was by behavior modification, wanting to be one of the smarter students and also using my good behavior to pass by. Behavior modification is replacing your behavior. So just say if a student named Kimmy always stomps her feet if she gets in trouble, her teacher will modify her behavior by rewarding Kimmy a piece of candy, to stop stomping her feet and Kimmy will stop stomping her feet because she wants that reward. Oh another method of behavior modification is threatening the student and calling the student parent's if their parents were strict like mines were. A famous line in my elementary school a teacher would say "If you don't stop this I'll be calling your parents!" If you think about it, behavior modification is like training a dog to obey. In this case scenario, us students, were like the dog being trained. Psychologist B.F. Skinner was a Trojan horse into the educational system today.
 In school, just about the majority of the teachers in school (specifically in elementary school) always pulled out that line between the good students and the bad, or otherwise known as the smart students and the bad students. You had to be either or, if you were good, you were smart and if you were bad you weren't classified as smart. Even if you've been proven smart and had behavior issues, you would still be classified as bad because of your behavior. I remember that there was this one student who was the smartest student in the class, but he was classified as a bad student and never got his recognition. What's strange though, is that the majority of students were bad, there was only a few students who was actually good students. Public education really affected me by math though. I suck at math and I still do til this day. I was never good at it and whenever I did ask for help, we only went over that particular math part for that day. So one day we could be learning about exponents and the next day we could be doing multiplication and division. The system moved too fast for me to catch on and asking for help was effortless because we would be working on it for only a day and then move on. It was as if, there was no teaching going on, but really dealing with behavior issues in the classroom, glorifying the smart students and also talking about how important the Meap Test (Michigan Educational Assessment Program) is and the ACT Test when you get in high school. I still remember til this day how this police officer came into my third grade class talking about how important those test were because the jail system build more jails based upon how many students are scoring low on those test.
So with that said, my school district has affected me  because of that old saying of the good students were classified as smart students, the teachers not teaching but baby sitting and talking about how good certain students were. The stuff we were learning were basically only taught for one day and we moved on to something else in that unit. That went on until I got into high school though. When I got in high school, there was not that much teaching, there was just "Turn in that assignment when it's due." I never really learned, until I got into the 10th grade and had a world history class. That class is where my curiosity sparked and I really begin questioning the world on everything. After that year I begin dwelling to search for the truth of this dark cold world. And every since then, the phony education system was not a problem for me. Whenever I heard a teacher call a student smart when I was in the 11th and 12th grade, I laugh on the inside because smart is their eyes is getting all A's and B's and having that 3.5 and 4.0's. That means NOTHING to someone's intelligence and I could have proved that multiple times while I was in school. The only way, I could say I became more intelligent than a lot of the students in high school was because that spark of curiosity for finding the truth and me finally starting to ask questions. I also begin reading a lot and that helped me stay on top of the game. I didn't have a 4.0 graduating high school, I graduated with a 3.3. When I became aware of what's going on in this world, I stopped caring about having a high G.P.A. I declared that I don't want some scale of how much work I turn in to measure my intelligence. I'm actually not smart yet, I still have so much to learn of this world...